If we were Mark Zuckerberg, we'd have booked tomorrow off to depart with our $5bn worth of cash in a fanciful yet aloof manner. And it's just paper after all – we'd rather fondle some aluminium. Oh, that's why we still don't have a company to float...
35 years worth of daily space flights
Thanks to Richard Branson's fairly reasonable space tourism prices, you could essentially make suborbital commutes for the rest of your working life – $5bn would get you almost 25,000 trips on Virgin Galactic. We'd say that's about 50,000 times cooler than sitting at home looking at what your mates did last night.
142 Myspaces (or half a Twitter)
Well this is embarrassing isn't it? Rupert Murdoch's sale of Myspace in 2011 looks like pocket change compared to Facebook's current $100bn valuation*. Twitter's worth about $10bn already, according to moneymen in the know, but we're not predicting The Other Social Network to appear in cinemas anytime soon.
*We thought about finding tech worth that much but it made our calculators cry.
1,923 Bugatti Veyrons
You and almost 2000 of your closest (Facebook) friends could be zipping around in a Bugatti Veyron SuperSport each for a cool $5bn. You could even amuse yourself by forcing Bugatti to supply you with cars in hideously clashing colours – we're thinking Lemon and Violet – just for the lulz. You never know, Zuck could be planning a real-life bumper cars sesh for the first day after he raises the cash.
6.3m iPhone 4S handsets
That's about a third more units of Apple's latest hyped up handset than was sold in its record-breaking opening weekend last year. Then again, if you choose the Elite Gold iPhone 4S by Stuart Hughes, you'd have to settle for just 555 phones. Shame there's a limited edition of two, really.
30 F-35 Fighter Planes
OK so you won't be able to afford as many of these over-priced but stealthy jets as an actual country (the UK's planning to get over 100) but you wouldn't do badly with your own VIP fleet of 30. And just think, with your private air force you could scare everyone into giving you more cash, since you spent it all on gadgets..
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