Despite losing a massive $1.3 billion off his net worth, Bill Gates and his family are still putting on a smiling face. The world's richest man has been hit harder than expected by the dot.com downturn, and though still number one, his 2000 value of $60 billion has dwindled to a mere $58.7 billion. Long time Gates rival and gad-about-town Larry Ellison is even worse off. His value dropped from a comfortable $47 billion to a mere $26 billion.
"How can a man live on that," asked Gates, dressed in a two week old suit that he actually had to get washed rather than throw it out an buy a new one. "I mean, I've got a wife and kids, and my robot mansion to maintain, not to mention all of my fundraising efforts and humanitarian donations. I guess I'll just have to cut back on saving Third World nations this fiscal year."
Ellison was similarly downcast, and was seen running a loving hand over his private jet. "I was planning on getting this baby panelled in gold leaf, but I guess that's out of the question now," he lamented. "A loss like this really makes a guy sit up and take notice of how the other side lives. You know, those who have scrape by as just millionaires." He shook his head sadly, and flew off into the sunset, a true American hero.
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