Another facet of life is undergoing a similar change - dating. People have been meeting and falling in love via the internet since before the web was invented. Since the web-induced explosion in internet use during the mid-late '90s, we've seen a growing number of websites designed to match up people looking for love. It's even said that internet dating is the second most profitable business on the internet, right after pornography, and is Yahoo's second biggest source of revenue.
We often hear stories in the media of internet-enabled romances going wrong, and as such there tends to be a stigma attached to internet dating. Does it attract just desperate creeps and frauds? That might have been the case in the '90s, when the internet was still largely the domain of the techies, but now there are children growing up who have never known a world without the internet. For many young people, communicating via the internet is as normal as writing a letter or phoning someone up. The internet is no longer the domain of geeks and nerds, and to these 'normal' people, looking for love online is no different from, or perhaps even superior to, traditional methods.
Some casual investigation revealed that internet dating is far more popular than I would have thought. A large percentage of the single women I know are open about having their profile on a dating website. A lot of sites also syndicate their members too, which helps to increase the pool of potential matches. A quick visit to these sites reveals that they have tens or hundreds of thousands of profiles.
Not all are legitimate though. The vast majority do not have photos, and a lot are probably fakes. That's not to say meeting people in real life is any different - there are lots of liars and cheats out there. It's all a matter of weighing up the pros and cons and, from talking to some people who are into it, the pros outweigh the cons, as long as you're careful.
Internet dating is fundamentally different from meeting other humans in social circumstances. When in a social situation, you're often with friends and they'll give you feedback about whether they think a person is right for you or not. Usually, the other person is also out with friends, so you can see what they're like. But here's where the dark side of internet dating emerges. It's popular with criminals because the interaction is one on one and you don't have any of those social checks and balances associated with real life meetings. A little caution is essential.
So if you're going to try online dating, what are the things you should do and look out for to make sure you have a good and safe time?
The first thing to do is protect your privacy. When creating a profile, choose a user name that is different from any that you may currently use and obtain a new email account. Be careful about what personal information you enter because it can be searched and easily cross-referenced to find out more about you.
Make sure that you read and understand the site's privacy policy, as some free sites will supplement their income by selling your details to marketers. Paying for a membership also tells other members that you are serious, but make sure you steer clear of any that ask for payment before you can create a profile. Include a good photo of yourself on your profile too, because profiles without photos receive little, if any, attention. Also, to avoid confusion and annoyance, state clearly what you're looking for in terms of a relationship and make sure your spelling and grammar are correct.
When responding to messages from potential dates, don't divulge any information beyond what is comfortable for you. You don't have to tell anyone your surname or phone number. Ladies should be wary of men from interstate or men who won't provide a home phone number, as they are most probably attached and looking for an affair. There have been many stories of travelling businessmen who date unsuspecting women when interstate, using 'lonely hearts' stories about unhappy marriages and impending plans for divorce to attract sympathy.
Even if someone does give you their phone number, you don't have to reciprocate. And if you're going to call them, you might want to disable caller ID until you feel more comfortable with them. When you find someone you like, you've spoken to them on the phone, and you want to meet, make sure you do it in a public place like a cafe or bar. Let someone else know what you're doing or perhaps even bring a friend along, just like you'd do with someone you met in more traditional ways.
Internet dating can be fun and makes it easy to meet people from all walks of life. Make sure it happens on your terms and it's easy to end contact with people you're not interested in.